This morning we had planned to do a
really simple group drawing, with wool and a large golden frame. Using the
multi-sensory qualities of wool we thought this would work well with a specific
group of residents whose communication and dexterous skills are limited, but
who do join in and get enthused given time. Using wool is a nice precursor to
our yarn-bombing plans for next week. The plan was to be able to incorporate
the wool drawing into a mural for Flo’s bedroom.
When we arrived in the dining room at 10am
it was very quiet with only a few people sat having breakfast. Our original
idea went straight out of the window, as our group wasn’t there. They were out
at a hospital appointment, sleeping in or sat in the main lounge. As there were
only two people in the dining room, we decided to sit with Oliver. It became
apparent that Oliver was upset and distressed because he didn’t have his
breakfast served at 9am. He was in the RAF and previously got up around 4:30am to
catch his 6am train to work. He loves routine and being on time. By 9am he is
hungry. Oliver’s poor eyesight combined with the nature of living in a care
home – the fact that you are beholden to the timetable and the pace of the
institution means that he has no real control over all the small things that
constitute an independent life. His frustration is entirely understandable but
it is equally hard to know what to do about it. The staff are also helping 34
other residents get up, go to the bathroom, take medication, get into
wheelchairs etc. On one hand it seems essential that the small things are
attended to and we want to help Oliver – help him have his breakfast when he is
ready. On the other hand, it is clear that Oliver is frustrated every day at
breakfast-time. Sometimes he forgets that he has eaten, for example.
We sat with him, sympathising, trying to
find solutions and shift the conversation but felt very aware that the staff
were probably listening to us and even though it clearly isn’t their fault, as
outsiders who arrive to breakfast with cameras, I’m sure it feels unnerving and
uncomfortable that we are there. Kate’s reaction was to back off from the
situation, and began chatting to someone else, she said that this felt really
horrible in one sense but she just didn’t really know what to say! My reaction
to his upset and frustration was to say I would get him his breakfast tomorrow
morning at 9am. In hindsight, I’m not sure whether this was the best idea as I
will be unable to continue this promise as the weeks go on and his frustrations
will probably continue. I felt I wanted to help and also felt useless by the
fact that anything I did was not really going to solve Oliver’s problem. We
didn’t feel able to do the drawing and ended up doing it in the afternoon.